Some people say you should cherish every moment. They say life is too short to waste time messing around.
Yeah, okay. Those people suck.
I admit, calling out a cliché is cliché by now anyway, but whatever. The truth is, life is too long to be serious all the time.
If we aren’t immature once in awhile, we’re being mundane on purpose. Resisting the urge to be juvenile is like announcing to the world that you are boring.
It’s not about maturity, yet people still say to grow up. But growing up is something that happens to you, not something you make happen. I’m not trying to be Peter Pan here, although I used to play hooky. Zing.
So what childish discussions can I engage in to escape monotony this year, you might ask? Let’s start with one of the oldest in the Marquette playbook.
At the end of the Business Journal’s article on the Rev. Robert A. Wild’s departure, Wild’s advice to incoming president Scott Pilarz was to avoid any and all discussions about our school mascot.
Well, let’s just say I’m not Pilarz, and Wild ain’t around no more.
We should have changed it to dinosaurs.
We still can change it to dinosaurs. The Marquette Dinosaurs. That looks awesome. And after you say it enough times (i.e. once), it even sounds awesome.
What mascot besides the meteor can defeat the dinosaur? It’s generic, it’s historic, it’s diverse and coolest of all, it’s Jurassic.
And who in their right minds would be the meteorites anyway? If the NFL sees this, it will probably steal the name for when the team in LA finally surfaces. The Los Angeles Dinosaurs: Superbowl XLVIII Champions. Destiny awaits.
If dinosaurs are somehow not PC enough, what about the Marquette Wimpy Otters? Our own Dr. Franzoi would agree this is a classic self-handicapping maneuver. The Wimpy Otters are expected to lose, so nobody thinks twice when it happens. On the other hand, when the Wimpy Otters win, it is nothing short of heroic.
Keep thinking about dinosaurs.
Look, I don’t have much to prove. I won’t pretend my voice is deeper than it is, and I won’t pretend I’m good friends with Wiz. For the most part, it makes no difference if I put on pretentious pretenses or florid facades and act as if I were more enlightened than anyone. See what I mean? You don’t care, so I won’t bother.
But I am more enlightened, wink face.
What I am here to do is to put words between these margins to get us all thinking too much.
I’ll be the first to say I am not as clever as the writers of Community, but I won’t be spewing absolute drivel either. I have a distaste for political babble and naive propositions. Instead, I’m about enjoying what we can while preserving what is real.
Still, as history and Dave Chappelle taught us, sometimes keeping it real goes wrong. But life goes on. Dinosaurs.
And life goes on whether I’m here or not. I don’t pretend that we were all unaware of that. So if you’re this far into reading my silly meta-introduction already, I don’t applaud you, but rather I question your attention span. I’m just here to be provocative, and I hope you desire that.
So what’s up Marquette?
Another year down, another year up, another passed test, another filled cup. The previous statement was not original. I wish the new previous statement was false.
I’ve got my own reasons to want this fall to last forever, and maybe you have some too. So let’s put a drop of water into this semester’s hourglass — maybe the clumped sand won’t fall and we can prolong this magic.
Summer was already on fast forward, we just need to adapt. But remember, stop being so serious all the time.