To … the current residents of McCormick Hall, room 601: We hope you are living up to the legacy established over the past two years. Sincerely, three former 601 residents.
To … Ben Burns: I like it when you don’t wear an undershirt.
To … Mark Amantea: Stop hiding your love for Matt Wozniak.
To … Kim: you sexy.
To … Carey at Blo’s: Thank you for getting my ID back from Murphy’s. I knew I could count on you.
To … El Rey: Thanks for not washing the food-poisoning chemicals off my cilantro and tomatoes.
To … Campus Town West: You stole my brand new camera. Reward: Puppy Chow.
To … Brett Favre: Here we go again.
To … the vibrator in my roommate’s pocket: Where did you come from?